NLP's Presuppositions
Understanding others is essential in my counseling work, and it’s crucial that understanding ourselves is equally empowering. Self-awareness enhances our connections and helps us navigate situations more effectively.
There are many books and resources that list various NLP presuppositions, but I’ll focus on 12 of the most popular ones that are widely applicable to various situations and people. I’d appreciate your comments and insights on this. Let’s begin…
What exactly are NLP’s Presuppositions?
In NLP, a presupposition is an assumption or belief we accept as true. These are statements, with guiding principles, having the potential to reshape our thinking and behavior. While they may not always be universally true, treating them as if they are can be empowering, helping us shift our perspectives and make more conscious choices.
1. Excellence can be modeled and duplicated.
If one person can excel in an area, others can too. Observing, distilling, and replicating the strategies and behaviors of successful individuals provides a blueprint for replicating success. The challenge lies in identifying the right elements to model.
Example: A student struggling with time management observes how a top-performing peer organizes their schedule and adopts similar habits, improving their own performance.
2. Respect each person’s model of the world.
Everyone has a unique perspective based on their experiences, beliefs, and values. Respecting their “model of the world” means understanding their viewpoint without judgment, even if it differs from yours. This doesn’t mean agreeing with someone’s perspective but respecting that each individual has their own map of the world. Our priority is to understand their model and work with it. If their map is disempowering, we can help refine it to align more closely with reality.
Example: A colleague may prefer detailed plans while you thrive on spontaneity. Instead of dismissing their need for structure, acknowledge it as part of their model and find a way to collaborate effectively.
3. Individuals have all of the resources they need to achieve their desired outcomes.
People are inherently capable of creating their desired outcomes or can develop the necessary skills if needed. This presupposition reminds us that our capabilities are limitless and places responsibility on us for our actions and choices. Often, the greatest limitations are our own beliefs. When you hear yourself say, “I can’t,” add the word “yet” and start looking for the resources to bridge the gap.
Example: A shy person who wants to become a public speaker already has the ability to speak but may need to develop confidence and practice speaking in front of others to realize their potential.
4. People are only as resourceful as the mental and emotional state they are in.
Mental and emotional states heavily influence a person’s ability to think clearly and act effectively. Our emotional state significantly impacts the choices we make. To regain resourcefulness and the ability to make better choices, we must first address our emotional state.
Example: A student overwhelmed by anxiety before an exam might forget answers they know, while a calm and confident state allows them to recall information effectively.
5. Resistance is a sign of a lack of rapport.
If someone resists your suggestions or ideas, it may indicate that trust or understanding has not been fully established. Effective communication is essential for building rapport, as it helps bridge gaps in understanding and makes it easier to find common ground. If someone resists your ideas, it’s usually a sign to rebuild that connection and adjust how you communicate to match their perspective.
Example 1: A team member resists a proposed plan. By actively listening to their concerns and validating their feelings, you create rapport, making them more receptive.
Example 2: if a partner feels less cared for, the other can rebuild rapport by listening attentively, acknowledging their feelings, and showing care through thoughtful actions or words.
6. A person’s behavior is a representation of their current state, not who they are.
A person’s behavior is a representation of their state, not their identity. Behaviors are influenced by emotions and circumstances, not necessarily the person’s character. Understanding behavior requires seeing it as a reflection of their state rather than making assumptions about their identity. This presupposition suggests to separate the individual from their actions, preventing judgment and focusing on the potential for change.
Example 1: If someone snaps at you, instead of labeling them as “rude,” recognize they might be stressed or upset and address the underlying cause.
Example 2: If a person struggles with anger issues, instead of labeling them as an “angry person,” you can say, “You express anger in a way that’s difficult for you and others.” This helps the person feel empowered to change their behavior without feeling like their entire identity is defined by it.
7. The map is not the territory.
This presupposition highlights the idea that our perception of reality (territory) is not reality itself, but rather a mental representation (a “map”). Our interpretations are shaped by experiences, culture, beliefs, values and prejudices, creating unique filters. Therefore, two people can experience the same event but interpret it differently. Communication can become challenging when we interpret others’ statements through our unique filters, creating our own “maps” of the world.
Example: Two people attend a concert. One enjoys it thoroughly, finding the music uplifting, while the other feels bored because they dislike the genre. Both interpretations are valid “maps” of the event but don’t represent the concert itself (the “territory”).
8. I am in charge of my mind and therefore of my results.
If you’re not in charge of your mind, then who is? This presupposition emphasizes personal responsibility. Taking responsibility for our thoughts and emotions empowers us to control our outcomes. Blaming external factors limits growth.
Example: Instead of saying, “I can’t succeed because of my difficult boss,” you choose to focus on improving your skills and seeking opportunities elsewhere if needed.
9. All behavior is motivated by positive intention.
Even seemingly harmful behaviors are driven by an underlying positive intention, often a need or desire the person is trying to fulfill. This doesn’t mean unlawful actions are excusable but invites us to explore the why. Often, people act based on their limited resources, flawed perceptions or trauma. Understanding intent helps us address root causes, eg: poverty or trauma while holding individuals accountable.
Example: A child throwing a tantrum may want attention or comfort. Understanding this intention helps address their needs constructively.
Even psychopaths/criminals act based on what they see as beneficial—like seeking control, power, or gratification. Understanding their motivations doesn’t excuse their actions but helps professionals (like psychologists or law enforcement) address underlying factors and predict patterns of behavior for risk management.
10. The meaning of your communication is the response you get.
The success of communication is determined by the recipient’s interpretation, not the speaker’s intent. Adjusting your communication ensures clarity. If the response isn’t as desired, it’s a signal to adjust the way the message is conveyed. The responsibility for effective communication lies in understanding the other person’s map of the world and aligning your message accordingly.
Example: If a teacher explains a concept but the students look confused, instead of blaming them for not understanding, the teacher rephrases the explanation to match their learning style.
11. All outcomes are achievements: there is no such thing as failure – only feedback.
Every outcome provides valuable lessons, guiding future efforts. Viewing mistakes as feedback rather than failure promotes growth and resilience. This presupposition empowers individuals to see undesired results as opportunities for growth rather than failures.
Example: A job interview doesn’t result in an offer. Instead of feeling defeated, you analyze the experience, identify areas for improvement, and perform better in the next interview.
12. The Person Who Has the Most Flexibility Will Get the Most Results
This is also called Law of Requisite Variety coined by Ross Ashby. To change a situation or achieve a desired outcome, you need options. Having more behavioral and mental flexibility gives you more control. If one approach doesn’t work, adapt and try something new.
Example: A salesperson adapts their pitch based on the client’s interests and needs, increasing the likelihood of closing the deal compared to sticking to a single, inflexible script.
Conclusion
NLP presuppositions offer a powerful lens to view the world, shaping how we connect with ourselves and others. By embracing these empowering assumptions, we can foster deeper understanding, navigate challenges with grace, and build meaningful relationships. Whether you’re looking to improve communication, enhance self-awareness, or approach life with greater positivity, these presuppositions provide a solid foundation. Did you like this post? Please comment.
